take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
