I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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