Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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