I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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