We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
