so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I could fuck to npr.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
