Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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