worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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