apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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