never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i came on her dog
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
