i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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