The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
