i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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