I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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