I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
