I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
