what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
