ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
