PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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