Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
