Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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