I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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