Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
