At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
