Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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