He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
