i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
