You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
