"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
