How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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