You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
