my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
