Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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