im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
