we're blogging at a bar
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
