You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Someone came in the potted fern
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
