New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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