Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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