Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
