yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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