We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
