From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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