he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
