I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
