why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
