I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
