rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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