You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
