They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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