Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
