saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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